Oh, religious arguments, hello my old friend?

Never discuss religion or politics at the dinner table. Right? That is the old saying, I believe, or at least something like that. The purpose of this has to be because, everyone is an idiot and when arguing with idiots, you do not want to have food on the table, because this will just confuse them into throwing their food, and your wife will not want to clean up the mess. No? Ok. Fine. It is probably because religion and politics are two topics that rely little on fact and largely reside in the realm of opinion. And we all know "opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one, and everyone thinks theirs don't stink." Further to justify why you shouldn't argue religion or politics (potentially anywhere) is that it is not like arguing who the best NFL Quarterback is. My point being, if I think the best QB is Colt McCoy, I at least understand why you have left the conversation laughing at me. There is not a lot of evidence to back up my claim. However, if you walk away laughing a person who tells you that their religion believes that god is a mystical hippopotamus, with magical tusks of fury, you are likely to get slugged in the back of the head with a magical hippopotamus tusk.

People take religion and politics seriously. Extremely so.

I never argue politics. Mostly because I do not argue things that I choose of my free will to be ignorant to. I am a cynic. I tend to think that in our government, both Republicans and Democrats are trying to screw over the citizens they have sworn to serve. Like I said, I am a cynic. I accept that this is a clear generalization, there are probably many politicians with good hearts and good intentions. I simply choose to ignore them, because I am tired of finding out about the ones who do not have good hearts and do not have good intentions. This is my choice, and mostly, I run into no opposition when I bow out of political conversation, or when I sit quietly listening to other people argue, simply inputting when I think a fact here or there may be potentially misinterpreted or interesting.

Religion on the other hand, being ever more explosive, I can't seem to keep out of.

I do not know why, either. I simply cannot ignore a religious debate. Perhaps my education is at fault. I attended a Jesuit Catholic high school, and forever have been burdened with having an inquisitive mind when it comes to religion. However, often, I am on the side of not believing.

Good to know I am at least consistent. I am a cynic.

I used to take issue with many things regarding religion.. but let us just shake this whole thing down and get to the crux of most religious arguments between people who believe and those who tend to believe a little less. THE BIBLE.

Is it true? Is it the word of God? Is it likely that Jesus was born of a virgin Mary, etc, etc, etc.

Three words. I. Don't. Know.

Of course, that is where belief kicks in. Obviously, it takes a leap of faith, that as a human being you must be willing to take in order to believe.

Honestly, it's a leap of faith I once took, but no longer can.

Because.

I am a cynic.

Let us assume that God sent his word in the form of the Old Testament, which was written many (many, many, many) years ago by the early Jews. Why don't Christians follow these rules? Sure, pork is delicious (Bacon in particular).. but if it is unclean and God has ordained that we do not touch it, why do Christians choose to not follow that rule, but Jews do? Does this mean we can, as Christians, pick and choose what rules to follow? However, Jews cannot.

The Christian church has been a shining example that "power corrupts, but absolute power, corrupts absolutely." The early history of the Christian church is fraught with examples of leaders abusing power. Who is to say that they guarded the Word of God with reverence, when they often were clearly corrupted and interested in only themselves? As a cynic, I have a hard time with this. I find it extremely hard to believe that the Bible has remained the true word of God over centuries and millennia of cultural distress and upheaval.

The Bible is a collection of many stories, written by many different people, all of whom claimed to be inspired by God. However, there are many more writing which are ignored, despite the same claims of divine inspiration. How was it determined which should be added to the Holy Canon? A group of priests got together and after long hours of prayer and thought and deliberation, they determined whose word was in fact the act of divination and whose was not. That's right, more HUMAN BEINGS claiming to be messengers of the will of God.

It all just smells. It smells bad. And I cannot stomach it.

But like I said, I am a cynic.

Most things in this world are possible, however, few are probable. An immaculate conception for instance, is possible, if simply because there is so much about our bodies that we STILL do not understand. However, it is not probable. Of course, if such an event were to be guided or aided by the hand of a supernatural being, I suppose it becomes increasingly possible, however no more probable. The Bible seems to consist of many possibilities which are not quite probable. It almost seems like it was set up to be something that could not be proven, and equally could not be disproved.

I know that is simply speculation, but it is how I have interpreted it all. I welcome anyone to challenge any of it. However, I will not believe, simply because you say "it is the word of God".. Clearly I am too cynical to jump into that pool.

Is it logic, or just pessimism? That I do not know, but it is what I think.

Grocery Store Customers

Have you ever been to a grocery store?

I'm guessing you have.. well, if you haven't, I do wonder how you afford fast food or restaurants.. cause that's expensive @_@

Anyway, assuming everyone here has been at one point or another a grocery store customer, I have some complaints for you.

This is the second time I have worked as a cashier, once in college, and once right now, since I am only going to be in my current location for a total of 4-5 months (only a month to 2 months remaining at this point).

Some things to consider when you are a customer in a grocery store.

A - The Cashiers are graded on how fast they get you through the line from start to finish. Now, the grading system is imperfect at best, you see.. and it isn't really a grade of how fast you get through the line, but in actuality, it is a test of how fast the cashier can get you through from scanning your first item to closing the cash drawer, so when considering all things, try to do your cashier a favor and don't do things that will hurt your cashiers ranking negatively.

Now, this being said, a cashier should never 1) Be rude to you by trying to rush you through his/her line 2) Throw your items after scanning them or 3) Make you aware of the fact that if you take a moment to decide on something that you have ruined his/her score..

Also, keep in mind, the slower you are through the line as a customer, the more rude you are to the other customers who are waiting behind you.

While I wholly agree that "the customer is always right".. there are some things that just always bother me.. and here they are, in no particular order..

- Customers who run off to grab that "last item that they forgot" in the middle of the order.. not only does this ruin the cashiers "tender efficiency" score, it holds up the line. Simply make note of what you forgot, pay your bill, and go back into the store and stand in line to get the forgotten item.. consider it your consequence for forgetting something.

- Please don't ask a cashier to price check something.. please, please, please.. it forces a cashier to potentially void something from the order, which if a cashier has too many voids within a day, they start to draw attention from loss prevention.. which basically means, they start to get suspected of theft.. please don't do this.. read the sign correctly the first time, and if the signage is still confusing, go to the customer service desk and ask there, it is one of the functions of the service desk..

- If you are going to need cigarettes/tobacco/lighers/etc.. PLEASE ask for them first.. this saves time, and this helps your cashier's efficiency score.. thank you

- DO NOT mix produce in the same bag!!! Do you know how much of a pain in the @$$ it is to have to open a bag because someone mixed apples into one bag!!!.. Seriously, different apples (or peppers for that matter) are NEVER the same price and MUST be rung up separately.. USE SOME COMMON SENSE!! as a cashier, I don't want to waste time having to open up a bag and weigh each produce item and then put them back in the bag.. Also, consider it a sanitary risk.. there is only a slight chance I washed my hands after using the restroom (I'm kidding, but you get the point, why have me have to touch your produce, if it's unnecessary?)

- Don't ask the cashier a question until they have greeted you.. unless it's really important (like, you have a potty emergency).. If I am counting the customer before you's change, I am unlikely to be ready to deal with you as the next customer, learn some manners and wait your turn please.

- Ok, this is me being kind of 'ticky-tacky' but.. if I ask you if you are paying with 'credit or debit' and you respond "credit".. do not put in your debit card numbers.. you will have to re-slide your card, because now we have a payment mismatch issue.. and I will have to pretend that I messed up, so you don't feel bad.. THINK PEOPLE

- Once again.. this is probably just me.. but putting your basket of groceries on the belt, just feels rude to me.. It's like "here, can you unload these for me, I'm too lazy to take them out of this basket".. also, it's a pain to have to lift the groceries and then slide them past the scanner, when the basket ends up right up against the scanner.. it takes you 5 seconds to unload the basket.. how hard is that? (and I will unload the basket EVERY time before scanning..)

- This one is just gross to me.. to all the ladies who are "naturally endowed".. your bra strap/cleavage.. is NOT the same thing is a pocket!!! Why do you think I want to touch your keys or cash after they have been inside there??? I don't put my cash in my underpants and then whip it out to pay at the counter, and neither should you!

- Being on your cell phone.. this is just obvious..

- Stealing pens.. yea.. pain in the butt.

- If you see that I don't have a bagger, would it really kill you to bag a bit of your own groceries? I mean.. in all seriousness.. bagging isn't that hard.. I don't mind bagging the groceries once I finish ringing them up.. but it will get you out quicker if you do it yourself.. it never killed anyone.. I promise.

- Lastly.. customers who refuse to give their 'savings' card, simply because none of their items are on sale.. First.. as cashiers, we are expected to ask EVERY customer for their member card.. Second.. at some stores, we are told what our percentage of customers to give their cards was.. 3rd.. we are not allowed to use a random card or our own card.. and last.. it takes you 3 seconds to pull your card out and have the cashier scan it.. are you really in that big of a rush? I think not.

That's pretty much it.. at least of what I can think of at the moment.. If you refrain from all of these, I promise your cashiers will love you, and your grocery experience will be fantastic!

My ups and downs in pounds..

I seem to have the all too common issue of having it be very easy to gain weight.. (and not the good kind, aka.. I can get fat easily).. Interestingly enough, when I put my mind to it, I also can lose the weight easily enough.. however, I HAVE to ACTUALLY put my mind to it.. and there is the tricky bit.. But, just for giggles, let's take a look at my adult life up to now.. and the weight ups and downs that I have had.. I don't know why, but I thought this would be interesting..

(just for reference, I am 6' 0" tall.. in case that helps any.. I would post photos, but they aren't on this computer, lol)

2000 - 18 years old, 235 lbs. I had just graduated High School and was a grade A fat ass.. I weighed somewhere around 235 lbs.. While I was sort of athletic (I had some athletic ability that is to say) I was just plain too porky to do much of anything..

2001 - 19 years old, 248 lbs. The heaviest I ever weighed myself.. Hell, at any point during this year, I could have weighed more.. I just didn't weigh myself that much (and who would?) I saw a picture of myself from this time a few weeks ago, and was repulsed.. it was disgusting.. gross, awful.. 

2002 - 20 yrs old, 215 lbs. Started College the year before and got mono, lol.. Lost 20-25 lbs while I had mono and another 10 lbs from being more active and not having time to snack nearly as much as I did when I was working at RadioShack and sitting on my ass at home a lot.. Also started playing racquetball with a friend (Matt).

2003 - 21 yrs old, 205 lbs. More Racquetball, 2-3 times a week with some older guys and Matt in the mornings, and sometimes in the evenings.. Also had to start paying for my own food (moved out of the dorms).. so, while I lost weight, I was probably not eating all that healthy (cause I got the cheapest food possible)

2004 - 22 yrs old, 195-205 lbs. Not exactly sure where I was, exactly, but I started playing racquetball for the club team at OSU and the increased activity definitely helped me lose weight, it is also noteworthy to mention here that I met and started dating my future (and current) wife =)

2005-2006 - 23-24 yrs old, 180-200 lbs.. This is more like.. I went from 200 to 180 lbs over the course of these 2 years.. it was a steady loss that was assisted by better eating habits instilled by Deanna (now wife, girlfriend at the time).. also the addition of working out with an older friend who I played racquetball with in our mutual efforts to get in better shape, plus playing racquetball still with the club team... This, at the time was the best shape I had been in.. I peaked at 24.. not bad, I suppose =)

2007 - 25 yrs old, 220 lbs.. Wait? What? Wtf did I do.. Ok, it goes more something like this.. Deanna moved to Texas to start her Masters at UNT.. I was lonely.. but still active.. I probably put on 10 lbs and got to 190 but, then I started student teaching in April.. and just packed on the weight like it was the cool thing to do.. Soon I ballooned to 220.. Stupid Wendy's was 3 minutes from the school I student taught at.. I mostly blame them.. (and my lack of most physical activity during this time)

2008 - 26 yrs old, 208 lbs.. We got married.. =).. I worked at UPS for the better part of a year.. that mostly contributed to my lowered weight.. but I was just struggling with the will power to NOT snack..

2009 - 27 yrs old, 200-210 lbs.. Not much to say here.. struggling with the snacking.. not losing weight, even though I started doing p90x

2010 - 28 yrs old 195-200 lbs.. Decided we were going to audition for the Navy Music program.. I didn't get in on my first audition (or 2nd).. but decided that I needed to get down to the required weight for my height (200 lbs).. so I did.. but, then I challenged myself.. how much better shape can I get in?

2011 - (almost) 29 yrs old, 175 lbs.. Deanna went to boot camp, and I got super serious about eating less calories and working out a ton.. and here I am.. best shape of my LIFE.. I have muscle definition (have NEVER had that).. and working really hard to shed that last bit of fat that clings to my stomach and every where else it seems to want to hang on.. but.. it's getting blasted.. and I hope I can continue these habits.. Of course, snacking is still hard to resist.. I grew up in a house where snacking was commonplace.. it was something both my mom and dad did with regularity, and it is hard for me to fight.. ESPECIALLY when alone.. The fact that I did this weight loss while my wife was away at boot camp is a testament to how much I wanted to keep my life in order when I was emotionally a wreck.. I suppose that is a good thing =).. So, the goal is 170 lbs.. but with more muscle and less fat.. if I got to 165.. because I failed to put on the muscle, I would be ok with that..

Anyway, here we go, here's hoping for more downs than ups.. Hell.. screw that.. All downs, no ups!

The Past 6 Months.. or so.

Well, I am posting here because.. I am too lazy to keep up a regular blog, however, felt the need to type out some stuff, and here is a decent little spot to do it, so, sucks for anyone who reads on, but yea..

So, anyway, the wife went to boot camp (January 11, into the Navy).. and I was really sad and lonely.. I worked out a lot (lost a bunch of weight, gained some muscle, w00t!).. and practiced my trumpet a lot .. I was all set to audition on February 16.. and I did it.. but I was a wreck mentally and emotionally, and for lack of a better way to put it.. I screwed the pooch.. i.e. I stank up the room and they didn't accept me into the Navy Music program (which, for those who don't know, is what my wife is in).

I watched movies that I have seen a million times, I played a few video games that were easy (I didn't have the patience mentally to deal with anything challenging).. and thus mostly stayed away from any competitive online gaming (not that I was ever really "competitive" that is to say, in general, I suck.. lol).. So, basically that meant I played a little bit of Pokemon (breeding, etc) and some solitaire on my computer.. and Sim City 4 and a bit of God of War III.. Every now and again I would boot up Black Ops on the PS3 and play one of my brothers when they came online.. Oh, I was living in my wife's parents basement.. how exciting? Not really. I guess my cats kept me company.. that was neat? Nope. (love my cats though)

Well.. after those horrible 9 weeks of boredom, rejection and loneliness were over.. my wife graduated boot camp! Because she is a super star, she won the Navy League Award (the 2nd highest award a person can win at Navy Boot Camp) and I got to meet an admiral (so did she, of course).. Anyway, it was a proud day, and it was her birthday, so me and her family did our best to make it special.. which included a 3 cakes and way more food then she knew what to do with (boot camp food sucks I'm told).. Then she had to board a plane at 9am the next morning after being dropped off at the airport at 3am.. soooo.. I went to the airport at 3 to hang out with her and wander around with her until she had to go.. it was the most fun I had had in weeks!.. Just further affirmation that we are a good couple and are right to be married =).. and all we did was chat at the airport over coffee and a small breakfast

Her flight was to Norfolk, Va, where she would be doing her A-School (Apprenticeship school, so for her, Music School).. at JEB Little Creek Base, which is actually in Virginia Beach, Va.. I looked online that week and got us an apartment and moved down on Thursday to a little 514 square foot apartment just down the street for the base.. It's expensive for how small it is, but it's cheap in comparison to most other places that are bigger. Since I just moved down a car full of clothes, Tv, Video Games, Computer, etc.. and all of our furniture is still in storage in Texas.. We didn't really need much in terms of size, so this is really the perfect size..

We bought a futon, a bed, a tv and computer stand on craigslist for under $200 and that's all the furniture we have, and need. We bought a few pots, pans, plates and silverware all on the cheap at the NEX (Navy Exchange, it's like a WalMart that is all tax free and mostly lower prices). And it has been great to be back to living with my wife.

I am taking trumpet lessons with a man who is a retired Navy Musician who used to teach at the Navy School of Music.. the progress I am making in my playing is AMAZING.. he is having me do the most BORING stuff.. I mean.. basically playing simple articulation studies, EVERY DAY.. but OMG.. I apparently needed it! I am looking to audition a 3rd time some time in June.. he thinks I will be ready, hell.. he thinks it's ridiculous that they didn't let me in already (he thinks I'm a plenty good enough player to be in the Navy.. which is encouraging and frustrating all the same)

So, that's it right now.. I re-audition in June.. my wife will graduate from the Music School shortly after that (July maybe) and the rumor is that she will be stationed in Newport, Rhode Island.. yet another move coming up.. and if I make my audition.. that's 9 weeks of boot camp for me in Great Lakes, IL (north of Chicago) and 4-6 months of Music School in Norfolk, Va.. so basically.. 6-8 more months apart from my wife.. Basically.. this year is going to suck.. but it will set us up to have jobs for the next 4 years, and to really settle into our lives together.. AND.. it means we can (finally) afford a HONEYMOON!! (we've been married for going on 3 years, and haven't done that yet..)..

Anyway.. that's my life over the past 6 months.. and a look at what I have ahead of me.. I still play racquetball pretty regularly.. still practicing that trumpet.. haven't had much time for video games though.. OH.. working at a grocery store (Food Lion).. lol.. cause I needed a part time job to keep me from going insane.. nearly 29 years old, and cashiering at a Food Lion, my mom must be so proud! J/K.. that's just weak, but.. it's a temporary job until the wife graduates and we move on.. I work the morning shift (7-3) and no weekends, so it puts me in a position to hang out with my wife as much as possible, and gives me to time to workout and practice .. but not much time for video games... I have become an old(er) person.. we go to bed at 930pm every night.. and get up at 535am.. @_@

Sorry guys.. all I can say is growing up sucks.. and I still don't think I'm done.. good luck to all you youngin's lolol ;P

This is probably shit, but I don't care

outsourced, stretched too thin

mind races, pacing miles by minutes

eyes closed in darkness is not sleep

rests the body but wearies the soul

shoe leather tough as nails as pink as skin

laying upon rubble torn apart

a book with weak binding tears

its limbs from limbs from limbs from limbs

the ink nary dry nearly blank wholly black

it runs from the pages soaked in tears

eyes closed in darkness is not sleep

rests the body but wearies the soul

clouds tumble topple clouded emotions

sockets dry to weary to wet, to drip, to leak

agony lays in a place of waiting striking

lurking beyond is a palace of despair

rife with want and lost hope

a place I cannot go and wish to leave unseen

eyes closed in darkness is not sleep

rests the body but wearies the soul

words once written left all weakened

words unsaid leave all devastated

flattened past blistered future clinging

clinging to the longing longing for the clinging

holding on to the lost hope fighting despair

wrenching lingering clammering hammering

at ventricles as pounding persists

eyes closed in darkness is not sleep

rests the body but torments the soul

built up walls long past crumbled

opened roads which were quickly traveled

rivers emptied into glistening lakes

two bodies were once one now two

remembering smells long last forgotten

yearning, churning, thumping, pumping

knowing, feeling and understanding

separate from each other yet

equally distant, inequally comprehended

eyes closed in darkness is not sleep

rests the body and damns the mind